Today is no special day like every other day except some, whereby God grant me a lullaby of Paria Jan and this distance uhh this distance, makes me an incomplete soul.

Tomorrow is 7 Aban 1388 or 28th November, 2009. A day of blissful celebration for every moslims worldwide! Tomorrow is Eyde Ghorbân or Eid-al-Adha, a happy holiday celebrated to commemorate the willingness of Ibrahim to sacrifice his son as an act of obedience to Allah.

I am missing today, one of the best part of me, when I use to circumnavigate the old cafe with my dearest friend 'Shahan' .. my deepest condolence! His death anniversiry is today!

Alas, he chosed a wrong highway, that destined him a fatal destination! I remember how happy soul he was and it was his happy soul, that took his life away from his loving mother! He was always enamoured about superbikes! He always asked his parents to get one and finally on his 19th B'day, he got one, an imported devil cursed superbike 'Honda CBR1000RR Fireblade' that cost a staggering $ 25,000 (including import duties)...

Like every unusual guy, he was fond of such bikes! A boy charmed by his girlfriend, charmed everyone at first sights. We use to sermon, that the rest of our lives, we'll be together and will fly our favorite Cessna SkyCatcher at the SAF Flying Club, zipping through the air, far above the ground.....uh! Those Heart-pounding. Life-altering. Soul-reaffirming days, I miss badly! He died in an accident, on Highway 24 that connects New Delhi and UP (the other state) on 27th November, 2007 when he was speeding at the highway 24, to meet his alltime girlfriend, who use to live in a different state. Their 12 years old relationship shattered in micro seconds! She is now married and living happily in an unknown location of Austria with her so called long old love! Woooosh.......! I wonder, why didnt even she called his mother, the funeral day, she is to call her 'a best friend' ... God knows what demonised her!

Since then, I have stopped tagging anyone as my Best Friend! Because I know, he will be there around me, always like a sunshine! He is still my BFF (Best Friend Forever) and I am looking ahead, to call his mother today. Butin this filthy cold, I feel like to not get out! I became a Lazy Bird! But I have to go out ... anyhow!

So far I am carrying the same old Indian mobil number and paying double for International Roaming! Getting a Swiss SIM seems a tough affair for a temporary foreigner like me.... Some of my paperworks are missing and thus this problems butI dont give a damn to it. I am happy with my Indian SIM, my old lucky number!

A month back, me and Zara (a good aviator from Tehran, studying at the same academy) planned to celebrate Eid together but she left for Tehran as her brother, was eagerly awaiting to see her sister! So I am left alone in this festive session like every year! What I wish the most, is to to be with Paria but hush! this distance maimed everything! Tomorrow I am sure, she will look brilliantly dazzling in her new dress (aww so beautiful) and with her new festive smile and this thing really makes me happy! I just can imagine .......... :)

I was wondering the whole day about Edelweiss, it's really a lovely flower in every way and inofficially, the national flower of Switzerland. I still wonder, why it is in the inofficial rank! Is it because, Swiss has got the rank of being an awe-inspiring natural beauty knocker and thus some of its beauty are neglected and hindered with the term 'inofficially'? I saw one in the gardens nearby and all I can say is, what an interesting inflorescence of dear Edelweiss! Ah cheh zibast! I mean to say, Oh...How beautiful it is in Persian!

But yesterday was officially the best days of my life! Finally, I spoke with my girlfriend, after 18 days of silence and it is something I will rekall until the next time! I thank Allah, he is The All Beneficent, The Most Merciful in Essence, The Compassionate, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful in Actions, The Owner, The Sovereign, The True and Ultimate King, The Most Holy, The Most Pure, The Most Perfect, The Peace and Blessing, The Guarantor, The Self Affirming, The Granter of Security, The Affirmer of Truth, The Guardian, The Preserver, The Overseeing Protector, The Almighty, The Self Sufficient, The Most Honorable and all the most beautiful names! Thanks Ya' Allah ....

Today there is nothing much to write as yet, I am not deviated into other things to scribble! I am occupied in the essence of Paria and all I can see or think, is 'Paria' .... and I want to dedicate her something in Persian ad here are they,

Paria Jan,
Man dooset daram,
tu eshge mani,
umram voseh tu,
dige hichi nikham,
to maleh mani manam maleh to am,
dige hich kas misleh to paydah ne misheh,
voseh to mimiram va
man dooset doram baria hamishe!

which means,

Dear Paria
I love you,
you're the love of my life,
my life is dedicated to you,
i don't need anything else,
you belong to me and i belong to you,
there is no one out there in this world like you,
i would give my life up for you,
and I love you forever!

Maybe I wrote the meaning wrong but I spent 15 hours finding words in farsi to write this ... and I wished I could have spent few more hours, to write something better! But I hope, she enjoy whilst reading it......

14:15pm, Partly Cloudy and the south eastern wind gushing at 10km/h with a dip in temperature (6°C) making it one of the worst winter evening here in Berne. Today is very special day for me, as I accelerated further and proved a steep rise, clearing my internals with good points. and received my Private Pilot License (PPL) from ICAO as I completed my 50 flying hours! 200 hours more to go, before I can grab the Golden Hat, the Commercial Pilot License (CPL) that will enable me to fly with passengers (addon ATPL).

Today a special day because, 17 (including me) of the students cleared and made themselves eligible for PPL, out of 50 students and our academy director is throwing a party at his lavish home downtown, so I am quite excited but not that excited as I sound! I am happy but I wish I could have shared my happiness, with my gf alone, not with these bunch of unknown souls.

I made 700$ (Quite a lot) by investing 100$ over Casinos yesterday night and I bought myself one persian t-shirt along with some distasteful chocolates from a local market nearby the airport and I was so happy wearing it and flashing the golden persian letters to the heaven above. It indeed satiated me a little when I was missing her, upto the heights of mountain!

Words are words .. It cant speak emotions, no matter how hard you try and its quite improbable for someone to understand what exactly your heart wanted to speak out. As long as you love someone, it hurts. Even trying your best, you are not around her and neither she can hear or understand your so called notions. Ain;t I am correct?

Since the time I changed my relegion, my parents, my brother and everyone, dont like me a much but I dont rekall it, as I know, the more I will think about it, the more it will hurt me. I followed just the right esteemed path and I am happy with my decision (embrasing Islam). I dont hate them, as they gave me proper love, education and support, the basic needs, yes they did fulfilled but I still cant search so many missing parts, of our 'once a time' relationship.

I have just nobody to talk to. Just a lonely me and I am happy like this. Since so many days, I didnt speak to her. I did tried to talk to her but like always, I am at loss! She dont call me either and her computer is having a viral fever! Nothing to do .. except keeping this feeling, and an abundant emotions! I dont know what the future will bring for me, path ahead and if I never make it, I will look ahead to die in the crimson skies.

So far, I beleived that God will be here with me, in the hour of my need but I forgot he left my world, and me, long time back ...........

A brand new day with a brand new dawn, uh set the darkness and yesterday's winter aside. People started walking the same busted boulevard once again, that connects them to the Swiss S-Bahn (The Suburban Metro Railways).

The church bell is soothingly waking up the sun and I am sure its, 5 o clock in the morning! My landlady must be busy burning the scented candles. The candles are used to represent the Light of Christ. Really the ambience changes with a musky smell mmmh I can feel it. She is about to steer down to her cheese farm soon. Quite a busy lady ... so do I ... ?

I am about to offer my Fajr Prayer (Fajr means Dawn, the first of the five daily prayers recited by every Muslims). I embraced Islam, sometime back in 2005 but no one influenced me to choose Islam over other relegion. It was my choice, my own belief, a dream come true, oriented by Al' lah (The God) and since then, I never stopped offering everday, the five obligatory prayers Elhamdolil'ah (Thanks to God). There must be a great reason behind why God gave me this beautiful relegion to follow.

Ups and Down are the part of human life and everyone, every living things are prone to catch one, and we learn so many things whilst struggling to win over a problem. But, we loose many things and equally win many but one thing we dont loose, is Love of God! People who follow Atheism and/or Scientology are surely at loss because they are indeed following something against the principles of holy. But who cares? Neither I nor you .... Maybe now, I will be sued for derailing the reputation of their faith but I dont care a life of prison!

Now let me offer my prayer ....
Okay done! I came back to write once again.....

I have plugged in my iPod on the external speakers. This days I am in love with Japanese Songs especially Yoshiki! He sings every of his songs with utmost dedication, all his pain is well reflected in his mind blowing compositions! Indeed one of the best vocalist, will be remembered by me and every farseeing generations! His songs diminish my pains in this serene world. You know, what lacks the most? My Gf, whom I have given all my heart and soul and yet, I cant talk to her, cant see her, cant kiss her, cant touch her but all I can do is to miss her ... Yoshiki is their to heal me with his songs but still there is something a miss! I am drying my tears as I have my classes today and I dont want to reflect my buried emotions outside the surreal world....but I would like to add, that I love her, no matter how far she is and that I am waiting to be jeweled, by being with her.

Uh uh I wonder, how good will be today! I have to recheck the Diamond-DA42 Multi Engine Aircraft after reaching the flight school once again :( before steering up 18000 ft. (above sea level which is equal to the height of Mt. Everest) but let me tell you a secret, I dont know most of the deciplines whilst maintaining it but I can fly well, indeed awesome like a professional pilot. But who cares for a life in this besmirched land, I dont! My soul will be happy, if I die up and fall down with respect from mourners! But alas, I dont want to die right away as I am waiting to be with my everlasting love, Paria! If I really have to die, then I would choose to die, on her lap.
What makes me really sad infact what I really fear is that maybe I will spend the rest of my life trying to remember her and she'll spend the rest of her life, never thinking about me again ... but I cant keep this false feeling for too long. I know she loves me, more then me and I can live the rest of my life, with this feeling.

Its late night here and its snowing very badly. The once colorful tress are bearing naked branches in its lap. The streets are silent except the street lights, that always blinks! Um, the wintry winds from the northern Alps and a moonless night, makes it difficult to walk and see outside. So here I am, sitting on the porch, sipping chocolate drink and wondering .....

It's been a while, since the last time I heard your flawless voice, in the cold winter night of November 06, 2009. Time repressed me a lot and till date, I acheived nothing from anyone I loved except a ceaseless time, that dont ticks, that dont foster hours. The cupid world is stationed. Each hour is passing at the cost of my breathe and yet, I am tied and tired waiting for a longevity and serendipity with you honey.

I loved you, with all my heart and soul and except waiting, I cant do much about this missing part of me. But that doesn't mean, I am lost! Never! I have acheived so far everything, and its all because of your entreaties to Allah and I am sure enough, like an optimist hero, that I will see you one day, and the day is not so far. Its just hidden somewhere in the chaos corners of time but one day, I will explore it for sure.

Time does remind us, that each passing days will never come back but maybe the coming days, will bring forth, those missing parts into existance. Days are passing by without you but days are also coming nearer and nearer with this passing days to be with you honey ..